Iron Chef: Yoghurt Adventure

When I was in Byron recently I was excited to stumble across a Queensland brand of yoghurt made from coconuts. It seemed perfect for the upcoming Iron Chef battle. I found a recipe for yoghurt in “Eat Vegetarian” by Sam Stern (which is one of my favourite cookbooks at the moment) and substituted milk for coconut milk. Before I regale you with the horrendous failure that was Friday night’s yoghurt attempt, here is the recipe I was using:

• 1 litre of coconut milk
• 1 sachet of natural yoghurt starter (health food shops have these)

1. Boil the milk until it rises, then remove from heat.
   
2. Pour into a bowl or jug let the milk cool down to luke warm (about 40 degrees).
   
3. Stir in the yoghurt.
4. Leave, covered, for 6-8 hours somewhere warm. It’s important that the temperature is around the 38 degree mark and that the yoghurt isn’t disturbed. The yoghurt should thicken – you might need to leave it longer if the temperature is low.
   
5. Put yoghurt in the fridge to cool – and then it’s ready to eat! You can use this recipe to make greek style yoghurt just by straining it.

Sounds pretty easy, right? That’s what I thought. I was all ready to go, I had my pot and cans of coconut milk, my yoghurt starter and a spoon, and had fired up the (one working) hot plate. Five minutes later it became apparent that the one working hot plate did not work. I decided to utilise some high-end engineering skills, and hit the stove top whilst swearing colourfully.
I tried the other hot plates. Maybe, in dying, it had given its power to one of the others. To my surprise, the third plate I tried did begin to heat – a few minutes after spewing noxious smoke into the kitchen. Once the fumes had cleared, it worked quite well. And by well, I mean five times more slowly than it should have.

But, the coconut boiled. Good – now for the easy stuff! I should mention that the starter I used is not from an English speaking country – nothing on the box is written in English, and there was just the shop’s sticker explaining what it was. Luckily there was a small slip of English instructions inside; however neither the “don’t disturb while maturing” nor the “leave for longer if cold” advice were immediately obvious on these instructions.

Sam Stern suggests wrapping a towel around your yoghurt “if it is chilly”.


Ten hours later, the Antarctic climate of our house had produced a saucepan of: coconut milk.


No yoghurt. No yoghurt-ish texture, no yoghurt-ish flavour. Damn.

In the end I heated my oven to 50 degrees, let it cool a smidgen and then put the yoghurt in there. I repeated this process over the next 8 hours, and by lunchtime on Battle Day the milk began to taste like yoghurt, and was a bit thicker. Presumably, if I had done this to begin with, and hadn’t moved it about so much, it would have actually worked the way it was meant to.

I added some pineapple bits & juice to the yoghurt-ish slop, and it actually tasted pretty good. With a bit of honey and cinnamon, poured over fresh fruit, I didn’t think it did too badly. Certainly not what I was going for, but I think I’ll try again at some point. I’m thinking that if you put the yoghurt in a jug, and then put the jug in a bowl of boiling water, you’d be able to keep the temperature constant by switching the water whenever it cooled.

Do not let my failure deter you – clearly I am inept and an idiot. Sam Stern’s book is brilliant: he’s kind of like a tiny Jamie Oliver who seems to favour vegetables. His book has lots of pictures, easy to follow instructions, and great advice about substitutions and variations on all the recipes. He explains how to make heaps of basic stuff from scratch – like bread, yoghurt, cheese, and pizza – and from there you have so much scope to experiment. I’ll do a post on some of his bread recipes I’ve tried eventually. I suspect his yoghurt may work perfectly for actual milk; a friend informed me that coconut juice used to be used to sanitise wounds which might explain its reluctance to host bacteria in our freezing cold lounge room.

Ironchef: Coconut Battle

We have just finished cleaning up after the epic success (and epic mess) that was our first Iron Chef battle (oh yes, there will be others). There were nine contestants in all, and the following contributions:

• Prawn Skewers with Coconut peanut sauce
• Coconut Rice
• Salad with Coconut & Sweet Chilli dressing
• Cashew, Miso & Coconut tartlet thingies
• Fruit Salad with Coconut Yoghurt
• Coconut Fondue
• Black rice pudding with coconut topping
  
• Coconut & Lime Cheesecake

Black Rice pudding with Coconut milk & toasted shredded coconut
Possibly the most inventive dish, however, was a whole unopened coconut and a soft drink straw. We’ll be saving that puppy for the house warming, when we move house in a few weeks time. I’ll be posting the full recipes for everything that was made – when people pass them on to me – but in the meantime, feast on these:

Lime and coconut Cheese Cake - as delicious as it is beautiful to behold.

Salad (with desiccated coconut); the coconut & sweet chilli dressing is just visible in the background.

The wine is not made from coconut - but note the remaining prawn skewers. Obviously I did not have these, but they got Girlfriend's vote for dish of the night.

Gorgeously sweet and indulgent: black rice pudding, with, of course, coconut - and vietnamese mint, of all things. Can't wait for the recipe for that one.

Fruit Salad & Coconut Yoghurt

Coconut fondue - there's a tealight in the hollowed out pineapple on which the bowl rests. Astounding what people can do these days.

Needless to say, fun was had, mess was made, and OldSpice Ads were watched on Youtube.

Best Breakfast in Da World

How good are pancakes? I have found, in my quest to live forever, that things don't have to be "bad for you" in order to taste good. This is my favourite breakfast - complete with fibre, fruit, and no added sugars.

Apple & Banana Pancakes

These pancakes have their own unique and delicious flavour, so I don't add any honey - but if you have a sweet tooth honey or maple syrup are perfect toppings. I love the contrast of the warm, filling pancakes and the cool, freshness of the cold banana. It's like getting the best of both worlds: satisfying and refreshing all at once.

• 1 egg
• 1 tsp butter, melted (optional - I don't add butter)
• 1 1/4 cups of milk
• 1 cup flour (I use wholemeal for fibre; white makes lighter pancakes)
• 2 tsp baking powder
• 2 apples, peeled & grated (when in season, green ones work best)
• cinnamon (to taste - I use about a bucket)
• Vanilla essence (to taste - I use a tablespoon)
• pinch of nutmeg (optional)
  
  
• Banana (slice and serve atop pancakes)
• Honey or real maple syrup (topping, optional)

1. Make mixture by sifting together dry ingredients and then adding the wet ones. I cheat and use a blender stick to mix everything together, but potentially folding with a spoon will keep the mixture lighter.
   
2. Add the grated apple last, stir together.
   
3. Cook in a frying pan (see below for tips).
   
4. Serve topped with freshly sliced banana and, if you like, honey or maple syrup.

Makes enough for two hungry lesbians, with a serving of leftovers (mmm, cold pancakes for lunch!)

The original recipe calls for only one apple to every cup of flour, so my version is more like an apple fritter than a pancake with apples in it. If you prefer a bit more fluffiness leaving out some of the apple will do the trick. You can also add in some banana to the mix instead of one of the apples: I did this when I cooked for my mum, and they worked brilliantly. The mix can be made up the night before - in fact, this is what I always do, because I think it makes them taste better - but you will usually need to add a little extra milk the following morning.

How to cook pancakes

I have been taking singing lessons since I was 12, and I have found that the best teachers are not necessarily the best singers. At first that doesn't make sense, but the reason is quite sensible. "Naturally gifted" people never really had to learn themselves. They either could just do what they could do without guidance, or having been shown once, were able to pick it up and do it perfectly without practice.

Really good teachers struggled to understand concepts, came up against obstacles, practiced, failed, made mistakes, tried a thousand different methods, and finally mastered the best techniques.

Be assured that I am not naturally gifted. I have made many pancake-scrambles, pitch black fritters, and seemingly perfect concoctions that run gooey and white in the middle (I actually like them this way, but that's another story). Because I am so utterly inept, I've had to play a lot of trial and error, and I have been forced to make pancakes almost every week just to practice. (the things I do for my art)

Here are some tips that have helped me make pancakes that people will actually eat:

• Use a good non-stick frying pan. This is probably the most important thing for me. I love my frying pan. It's one of the only really good quality items I have in my kitchen. And it does make a difference - the difference between carcinogenic goop and pancakes.
  
  
• Wait for the frying pan to reach the right temperature. The first batch always goes awry for me when I rush in - so I normally cook a single pancake to check the temperature before marching on with the rest.
  
  
• Use a temperature which is hot enough to change the colour of the pancake, but will not burn the outside before the inside is cooked. I usually use a slightly higher temp for side one, then down the volume when I flip the pancake for side two.
  
  
• Be patient. Don't flip the pancakes before they are ready. If you're using a good frying pan, they should slide easily onto your flipper when they want to be turned. If they offer resistance it is because that side is still cooking, and the mixture is sticking to the pan. Just leave them for a bit longer and try again.
  
  
• Normally the "bubble" method works well - watching bubbles form and pop on the surface of the pancakes - but this is less effective with these particular pancakes as the quantity of apples makes for less bubble visibility. I usually rely on the "flipper test" above.