recycling and cuddling are important to me

Don't you love lesbian stereotypes? Especially when the hot-chicks-having-sex-while-you-watch stereotypes meet the sport-playing-tofu-eating-techie stereotypes, as in this glorious video:

Lez Chat from Tig Notaro

When you've finished watching that, go make this:

Creamy Mushroom & Cashew Sauce

I made this at least twice a week as a struggling uni student. Like me, it's cheap, easy and saucy. It's also suprisingly creamy for something without any cream, and the stock can make it as salty as you like, so it's a good health-fix if you're craving cream or cheese sauces.

Ingredients:

Raw, unsalted cashews
Hot water
Lemon Juice
Paprika
Cracked pepper
Beef flavoured veg stock (powder)
Onion
Mushrooms
(other veg as desired)
Capsicum
Coriander

Fettucine - put this on first if you're using store-bought, because it takes longer to cook than the homemade variety. Mine takes less than 3 minutes, so I put it on when the sauce is about ready.

Quantities:

• The cashews and water make the sauce, so you need enough of these to cover your vegetables. I use about a cup and a half to make two big serves and have some leftovers.
  
• The amount of water you use depends on how thick you want the sauce - start off with a 1:1 ratio and then just add more water if you want a smoother sauce.
• About half a lemon worth of juice is what I use for my quantity.
  
• I use a lot of paprika, but beware it can make the mixture gritty and "dirt" tasting if you use too much.
  
• Sometimes I don't use any stock at all, and other days I put in a fair bit - depends on if I'm craving salt! The stock I use also adds an extra creaminess to the sauce (I believe the brand is Massals, and it is all animal product free).
  

Methodology:

1. Firstly, buy a better food processor than me. I put the lid on mine, switched it on, and a spray of near-boiling water and badly chopped nuts flooded my kitchen bench, not to mention the clothes I had just changed into.
2. Using whatever method causes you least distress/shirt changing, blend together the cashews, water and lemon juice. Add more water to make the paste saucy-er.
3. Meanwhile, cook up your veg and mushrooms in a pan - I use a non-stick electric wok, so I don't need to use oil. Hint - add the oinion first, and cook until tender on a low-ish heat, before throwing in the other veg.
4. When the vegetables look like they'd like some sauce, poor in your cashew goop. This is also the time for pepper, paprika and stock.
5. I usually cook for a while and find I need to add some water, but it depends on how thick you want the sauce.
6. Serve on pasta with chopped raw capsicum and coriander.
   

The finished result will probably not look like this:

Sorry there's no photo. I ate it.